What the flag is going on?

I've never felt a pressing need to apply match to cloth and burn the flag, whether it be the Union Flag, the Stars and Stripes or any other.

Until now that is. The police are calling for flag-burning to be outlawed and suddenly i feel the need to incinerate any flag, all flags, or indeed anything flammable i can lay my hands on.

Our brave bobbies are following a train of thought which belongs in the playground, somewhere between 'You smell. No you do!' and 'Loser says what.'

Flag-burning, they muse, is itself, not intrinsically wrong. Ah-hah, but who is doing the flag-burning? Oddly enough, the same people who don't seem to like the Government very much.

But those people (cunning devils) are notoriously loath to commit any actual crimes, even though they are quite obviously reprobates who would blow you up as soon as look at you.

Annoyingly for Pc Plod though, being suspiciously Muslim and angry isn't a crime in itself. So, lets take something we know they sometimes do and ban that instead. Genius!

So, as you would expect this is merely the first of a raft of pre-emptive policies. As of January 2007, police will be arresting anyone wearing Reebok classics and matching tracksuits (burglary), anyone caught listening to Bob Marley (possession of marijuana) and all men (rape).

Because, as this proposal quite clearly accepts, there's no smoke without fire.