Rebel rhino

Good news from Kenya (if you’re a British soldier that is), where the army is proving considerably more adept at taming local insurgents than it has in Iraq.

Four soldiers, believed to be from the Gurkha regiment, sprang into immediate action when they were targeted as the victims of a callous ambush by a white rhino (one of a dangerous and bloodthirsty contingent of about 200 in Kenya).

The disgruntled rhinoceros, presumably angered by the presence of foreign troops on rhino soil, lumbered towards the startled soldiers with murder in its eyes. Thankfully, all those years of training came flooding back and, in a heroic stand, the men were able to subdue the beast by pumping it full of bullets.

It is not yet known whether the rhino was armed, although intelligence sources say Russian-made assault rifles have fallen into the hands of rhinoceroses via Iran in recent years.