Silly season sacrifice
The maintenance staff at Turkish Airlines certainly know how to celebrate.
Delighted at having sent a batch of aircraft back to the supplier ahead of schedule, they celebrated in the time-honoured fashion of the aviation industry – by slaughtering a camel on the runway.
Like footballers with their goal celebrations, other airlines will surely seek to top each other in the festive ceremony stakes. Below is a list of events to watch out for in the lead-up to Christmas. A sort of gory advent, if you will.
Dec. 14, Tokyo Airport - Nippon Airways plans to eviscerate an adult whale in the departure lounge. Chunks of blubber will then be distributed among particularly industrious schoolchildren. Nintendo Wii is to launch ‘Whale Hacker’ to coincide with the event, a computer game in which players must hack a fully-grown humpback into bite-sized pieces within the allotted time.
Dec. 18, JFK Airport – Continental Airlines will be chucking a live turkey into a jet engine to celebrate Thanksgiving, the festival of gratitude towards American Indians for allowing themselves to be slaughtered by religious zealots from across the sea.
Dec. 20, Moscow International – Aeroflot is to celebrate Christmas (and at least six weeks without a fatal crash) by issuing Christmas tree shaped lumps of Polonium-210 to all of its stewardesses. A spokesman said: ‘This will cut down on uniform costs. You’ll now be able to see our girls coming from a distance because they’ll be glowing an irridescent green and leaving a trail of teeth and hair everywhere they go.’
Dec. 23, Beijing Airport – To mark the festive season, Chinese Airlines is offering a round-China flight. The flight path will circumnavigate the country in a clockwise direction, with all the windows on the outside boarded up. ‘This is your captain speaking. There’s nothing to see out there folks, now shut up and watch the film.’
Dec. 25, London Heathrow – British Airways Captain of the Year will be strangling a pigeon in a ceremony to mark the completion of Terminal 5. The pigeon will then be diced, fried, and rebranded as ‘Pheasant a la Strangulation’, in BA’s Club Class lounge.
Any more seasonal sacrifices? Answers on a postcard…or in a comment.
The maintenance staff at Turkish Airlines certainly know how to celebrate.
Delighted at having sent a batch of aircraft back to the supplier ahead of schedule, they celebrated in the time-honoured fashion of the aviation industry – by slaughtering a camel on the runway.
Like footballers with their goal celebrations, other airlines will surely seek to top each other in the festive ceremony stakes. Below is a list of events to watch out for in the lead-up to Christmas. A sort of gory advent, if you will.
Dec. 14, Tokyo Airport - Nippon Airways plans to eviscerate an adult whale in the departure lounge. Chunks of blubber will then be distributed among particularly industrious schoolchildren. Nintendo Wii is to launch ‘Whale Hacker’ to coincide with the event, a computer game in which players must hack a fully-grown humpback into bite-sized pieces within the allotted time.
Dec. 18, JFK Airport – Continental Airlines will be chucking a live turkey into a jet engine to celebrate Thanksgiving, the festival of gratitude towards American Indians for allowing themselves to be slaughtered by religious zealots from across the sea.
Dec. 20, Moscow International – Aeroflot is to celebrate Christmas (and at least six weeks without a fatal crash) by issuing Christmas tree shaped lumps of Polonium-210 to all of its stewardesses. A spokesman said: ‘This will cut down on uniform costs. You’ll now be able to see our girls coming from a distance because they’ll be glowing an irridescent green and leaving a trail of teeth and hair everywhere they go.’
Dec. 23, Beijing Airport – To mark the festive season, Chinese Airlines is offering a round-China flight. The flight path will circumnavigate the country in a clockwise direction, with all the windows on the outside boarded up. ‘This is your captain speaking. There’s nothing to see out there folks, now shut up and watch the film.’
Dec. 25, London Heathrow – British Airways Captain of the Year will be strangling a pigeon in a ceremony to mark the completion of Terminal 5. The pigeon will then be diced, fried, and rebranded as ‘Pheasant a la Strangulation’, in BA’s Club Class lounge.
Any more seasonal sacrifices? Answers on a postcard…or in a comment.
posted by Rob Davies at 11:31 AM
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