Original copy of Guantanamo Bay press release [censored portions included]

[After six years of daily beatings, sleep deprivation and psychological torture], Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has admitted to being the mastermind behind 9/11, the Bali bombings and plots to attack Heathrow or Big Ben. [He also claimed responsiblity for the Kennedy assassination and the Viet Cong, before curling into the foetal position and begging to be strapped into the electric chair.]