Friday, April 06, 2007

Pamplona bull run? Who needs it



The first great picture story of the year burst onto the scene today, as slathering shoppers trampled over each other to get into Primark's new Oxford Street store.


Stomach-turning as the unmitigated materialism of it all is, you have to chuckle at the idea of thousands of people risking life and limb to visit a shop which already has several outlets in London.


Some of the baying hordes seemed to have gone out of their way to make trouble for themselves: why go to the Primark down the road when the Oxford Street branch offers a facial tattoo of the sole of someone's shoe with every purchase?


This picture reminds me eerily of a budget disaster movie i once saw, called The Rats. As the mutant rodents bred like, well, rats, they became so many that they began to shoot out of every manhole like little furry projectiles.


In the end, New York has no choice but to blow them to bits with high explosives.

Perhaps that's a little too heavy-handed for Primark shoppers, so here's an alternative solution:-

Shop Idol: Shoppers battle each other on live TV for possession of 6-packs of underwear, polo shirts and frilly blouses. The pushiest contestant walks away with a £10 Primark voucher and a set of riot gear.

I hear the BBC is looking to dumb down...i'm expecting their call.

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